People often ask me “How do you do young adult ministry?” It’s a loaded question, implying that there is a secret combination of skills, programs, communications and a little bit of luck that are all blended together to form “good YA ministry.” In a sense, this is true: good planning, engaging messages, and a dose of marketing all go a long way toward reaching out to young adults. But when this question is asked — how do you DO YA ministry? — people are often missing the point…
Last night at about 4:30, I sent out a quick text message to a bunch of friends, asking if they could make dinner plans. Several were out of town or working, but by the time 6:30 rolled around, there were seven of us seated around the table at Okoboji Grill, scanning menus and chatting. Two hours later, as we headed home, I couldn’t help but think how much this evening meant to me. It was fascinating to watch the evening unfold, and I think there was a lot to glean about the true simplicity of young adult ministry.
1. It’s all about the relationships. Let me say that again: IT’S ALL ABOUT THE RELATIONSHIPS. One more time? Yea, it really is ALL about the relationships! We weren’t talking about programs or theology (much, lol) or the deep issues in our lives. I wasn’t asking them to serve on a committee or trying to hook people into doing something for the service. It was just a bunch of people getting together simply to enjoy one another’s company. And it was GREAT. This is a group that has been slowly forming into a community, and there are new members every time. What happens is the recognition that we each need other people in our lives, and simply being together is a welcome break from the paces of work and home, desks and chores. People need people, and YA ministry begins with the recognition that we are all yearning for relationships where we can laugh, bounce ideas around, share stories and be our genuine selves. It doesn’t have to be fancy or structured — it just has to be offered.
2. Which leads to the next, easy point: JUST OFFER! 
I wasn’t sure how many people would be around, or if they’d want to come, or if the restaurant choice was the best. But I offered anyway, and got a great response. There are times people will be busy — keep offering! We often shut down after one attempt, taking it as a personal rejection or indication that they will never be interested, but it’s just not the case. Most people have really full schedules, but with each continued invitation, we are sending the signal that we genuinely care about somebody and WANT to get together. And eventually, a time will fit, the place will be right, and the need to connect with another person will be present. And don’t let money, transportation, or attire be a hindrance: offer to pay, to pick-up, and set the tone as casual in dress and conversation. But it’s a pretty certain rule: if you never invite, they will never come.
3. It’s okay to be spontaneous. My calendar is already 75% full until Thanksgiving, lol, but sometimes people like to do things on a whim. If you want to set plans a couple of weeks in advance, great, but many YA’s are just as comfortable responding for something that evening.
4. Connect people to one another. Several in the group knew each other through college; several had never met until the moment we sat down. It’s all about uncovering mutual interests or sharing bonding stories — we talked a LOT about pets last night! — whereby people can get to know one another. Each time someone new has “come into the group,” they feel at home and want to come back.
5. Food = Good. There is something about eating — or getting tea, a coke, coffee, etc — that sets people at ease. Community is formed around the dinner table, because it’s a natural rhythm of all of our lives. It allows everyone to be vulnerable and helps generate starting conversation. And, everybody has to eat, so why not do it together?!? 
When it comes down to it, ministry with young adults really isn’t that scary. It’s not as complicated as we may want to see it. It’s not a secret formula that only the lucky few have unlocked, but is something every person in your congregation can — and SHOULD — do. Granted, as relationships grow and blossom and deepen, other venues for ministry will become important and applicable, but the beginning is just as simple as a quick call: “You wanna go to dinner tonight?”
